His eyes glazed and his step heavy, former Ukrainian soldier Sergei walks out of a naval office in Sevastopol after switching allegiance to the Russian army.
He is one of the making the alternative to remain on in Crimea where the Ukrainian army stood by helplessly as Russia seized its military facilities in a question of days after the peninsula voted to secede.
“I’ve decided to remain. I actually have my parents here, my wife’s parents and my children,” the grizzled soldier says softly.
He describes how he and his colleagues waited in vain for 17 days for orders from Kiev as their bases were surrounded by Russian troops and pro-Russian militia which moved in swiftly after Ukraine’s government fell.
But the hot leaders who ousted pro-Kremlin president Viktor Yanukovych in a street revolt were impotent as Moscow muscled its way into the strategic Black Sea peninsula and backed the March 16 breakaway vote.
The waiting troops stormed the naval headquarters last Wednesday after Crimea voted overwhelmingly in favour of the split.
“We were picked like ripe fruit,” Sergei said angrily.
“If the Ukrainian army does nothing, it’s not a hard option to quit it!”
For him the entire institution was badly managed, with rampant nepotism and “special favours” making it hard to carve out a successful career.
But he said he still loved Ukraine.
“It’s my native country,” he said, pausing to fiddle together with his gold wedding ring before admitting: “I’m a bit frightened of the reaction from Ukrainians. Lots of them will take decades to grasp what we went through.”
Behind him a tender soldier in an oversize camouflage uniform is posted at an immense metal door, checking the IDs of the steady flow of folks getting into to give up their military affiliation with Ukraine.
-’Sticks and stones’-
Clutching his car keys, Oleg, a former mechanic with the Ukrainian army, said signing as much as the Russian army was a “very emotional” decision.
“The Ukrainian army not exists. So what else would you’ve got me do?” he said.
On leave after the Russian takeover, Oleg is now awaiting an “offer” of employment, that may take a number of days.
Despite his sadness at his decision, he feels that’s “impossible to leave” like folks who have chosen to come to an uncertain future in mainland Ukraine.
“If I leave Crimea, i’ll be leaving for nothing,” he said. His life is in Sevastopol, whatever flag it flies.
Most of the Ukrainian servicemen who’ve turned up are of their early twenties. They arrive in groups of 3 or four in jeans and sneakers, wearing sunglasses against the brilliant spring sun within the Black Sea peninsula.
“It was my family’s choice,” Alexander, a bearded 23-year-old driver, says of his decision to defect.
However the circumstances of his unit’s takeover didn’t go down o.k. with the tattooed young man, who said he feels “betrayed” by Ukraine.
“We were told to not fight and never to impress them (Russians),” said Alexander.
“When we now not had weapons, they told us – ‘Please go and fight with what you’ve got, sticks, stones, and whatever else’.
“How was it possible to fight the tricolour (Russian flag), against our military friends who serve just at the other side of the border?” he said.
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